The Same

[Semicircle]

They said, “We love you.
I smiled.


I leave holes in the walls
and laugh.
I watched my brothers cry
and stare.


They said, “Goodbye.”
I smiled.

[Mark A Becker]

Hey semi-
Welcome to the pen.  I do like short form poetry and there is a lot packed into the one you offer.

They said, “We love you.  "they" I take to mean parents
I smiled.


I left holes in the walls rebellion, an act of violence. I take this to be real, not metaphorical.
and laughed that they will say "I love you"
I watched my brothers cry
and stared. this implies that it is you staring, not your brothers


They said, “Goodbye.” Now the parents kick you out.
I smiled.  The emotional disconnect continues.

A lot of tension revealed in a few words. The emotional disconnect between "they" and the narrator is clear.
With so few words, I'd suggest reworking "and stared"- another word for "stared". If it's the brothers staing, just the word "stare" would clarify this.

Every word carries weight in these short ones.

Making S.2 present tense could make this one more immediate, and it would make "stare" work for either you, or your brothers:

I leave holes in the walls
and laugh.
I watch my brothers cry
and stare.

Good job.
Mark

[Semicircle]

Hey semi-
Welcome to the pen.  I do like short form poetry and there is a lot packed into the one you offer.

They said, “We love you.  "they" I take to mean parents
I smiled.


I left holes in the walls rebellion, an act of violence. I take this to be real, not metaphorical.
and laughed that they will say "I love you"
I watched my brothers cry
and stared. this implies that it is you staring, not your brothers


They said, “Goodbye.” Now the parents kick you out.
I smiled.  The emotional disconnect continues.

A lot of tension revealed in a few words. The emotional disconnect between "they" and the narrator is clear.
With so few words, I'd suggest reworking "and stared"- another word for "stared".  If it's the brothers staing, just the word "stare" would clarify this.

Every word carries weight in these short ones.

Making S.2 present tense could make this one more immediate, and it would make "stare" work for either you, or your brothers:

I leave holes in the walls
and laugh.
I watch my brothers cry
and stare.

Good job.
Mark

Thank you, this gives the poem a better punch.

I was wondering if it was a little emo but I'm glad it was well received.