Chernobyl's baby
#1
A fly trap,
that caught phantoms;
infused within, tapping from 
its endless source of energy.


It’s wrinkled foot
pooling into the corridor,
body groaning from behind.


Trunk stretched out,
groping for water; 
the elephant thirsty
for fusion.



Edit

Fly trap,
the phantoms,
infusing them within. 
Tapping the elephant
of its endless energy,
unable to fade away.

Wrinkled foot 
pooling into the corridor,
body groaning,
from inside the wall.
Trunk stretched out,
groping for a cool spring; 
the elephant thirsty
for fresh souls.
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#2
(03-02-2022, 04:26 AM)Semicircle Wrote:  Edit

Fly trap,
that caught the phantoms,          catches the phantoms
infusing them within.                   comma instead of full stop
Tapping the elephant                  t
of its endless energy,
their unable to fade away.

Wrinkled foot 
pooling into the corridor,
body groaning
from inside the wall.              another comma instead of full stop; I'm reading "wall" as the concrete bunker poured atop Chernobyl                                                                                                                                                     
Trunk stretched out,
groping for a cool spring; 
the elephant thirsty
for fresh souls.

I like this poem although I can't say I really understand it.  I'm taking it that the baby of the title is the elephant of the poem.  The edit is an improvement.  A few suggestions.
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#3
(03-03-2022, 01:52 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  
(03-02-2022, 04:26 AM)Semicircle Wrote:  Edit

Fly trap,
that caught the phantoms,          catches the phantoms
infusing them within.                   comma instead of full stop
Tapping the elephant                  t
of its endless energy,
their unable to fade away.

Wrinkled foot 
pooling into the corridor,
body groaning
from inside the wall.              another comma instead of full stop; I'm reading "wall" as the concrete bunker poured atop Chernobyl                                                                                                                                                     
Trunk stretched out,
groping for a cool spring; 
the elephant thirsty
for fresh souls.

I like this poem although I can't say I really understand it.  I'm taking it that the baby of the title is the elephant of the poem.  The edit is an improvement.  A few suggestions.

Search up the "elephant's foot" if you want context.
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