Gods

[Kng]

Immensity [Immēnsitās]
swells at the back of my head
Understanding, which I cannot turn to see
Truths beyond comprehension
like trying to draw a Tree [drēogan]
from the fluttering light on the forest floor


Worship [Weorðscipe] 
we walk amongst beings who move without moving 
Who transcend love, cruelty, justice
and meaning 
the half betrays the whole
we learn [laistjan] 
too late


there will be no deliverance 
when the last pine is cut 
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods 
Creators of Life
in the name of progress 

[Seraphim]

The first two stanzas really don’t convey meaning to me. Here, I think, is your poem.


there will be no deliverance
when the last pine is cut
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods
in the name of progress

[Renfri]

The first two stanzas really don’t convey meaning to me. Here, I think, is your poem.


there will be no deliverance
when the last pine is cut
when oil undermines wood
when we topple our gods
in the name of progress

Initially, I found this comment quite drastic but now I completely agree. I like the line about trying to draw a tree from the flattering light on the forest floor, very imaginative; I would like to see it somewhere in your poem but I have to agree that the point of your first two stanzas does not flow with the last one, which is really your poem.