Faux? [Edit - title change]

[dukealien]

Faux?


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely cast ~  
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence
of the jewel.

Essence


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely made ~  
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence
of the jewel.

[Lizzie]

Essence


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely made ~  my only quibble is that 'made' feels weak -- I like how crudely sets up jewel tonally
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence -- I like Platonic essence and how it works tonally with distance
of the jewel.

My only other thought is that I don't like the title. I'd use "Faux" as the title and then choose something else in place of that word within the poem.

I think this is a solid offering. Well done.

[dukealien]

Very cogent criticism - thank you kindly.  Responded to your critique in the edit (below) but this one may still have a ways to go.

---

Edit1;

Faux?


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely cast ~  
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence
of the jewel.

Essence


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely made ~  my only quibble is that 'made' feels weak -- I like how crudely sets up jewel tonally
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence -- I like Platonic essence and how it works tonally with distance
of the jewel.

My only other thought is that I don't like the title. I'd use "Faux" as the title and then choose something else in place of that word within the poem.

I think this is a solid offering. Well done.

[Winterloc]

I've read this over and over and can't quite land on any complete interpretation. Seems there could be many different possibilities. It reads weighty and rich with meaning. It's stunning. I'll be interested to see others opinion. Also cast works really well.

Faux

Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely cast ~  
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence
of the jewel.

Essence


Faux pearl gutter-gleaming
scuffed and traffic-bruised,
crudely made ~  
yet from any distance
could be taken for Platonic essence
of the jewel.