Charlie

[CRNDLSM]

Oh Charlie,
you're getting too old.
Someone oughtta put you down.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard.

It hurts you to walk,
your paws are always sore,
and you can't stand on your own anymore.
I stick my fingers down your throat
to make you swallow all of your pills,
and bathe you daily cause you sleep in your own filth.
I wake up everyday
to feed your stubborn face.
You're always rude and never eat your food.
You know I hate you.

There's no reason to fear the dark,
no reason to bite or bark,
if you just give up that spark you'll play in heaven's park.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard.

Where did you go?
I miss you in my life.
It wasn't til you left for me to realize:
I was your only family,
I was your only friend.
It was just you and me in the end.

Oh Charlie,
I'm sorry.

[Achebe]

hmmm....I actually liked this one. there is something pretty genuine about S2. I love it.
I think if you give up the unnecessary dark / spark / park and friend / end in S3, the poem will read even better.

[Mark Cecil]

Oh Charlie,
you're getting too old.
Someone oughtta put you down.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard. Good use of repetition in this stanza of Charlie highlights the predicament  the owner has with what to do with the animal

It hurts you to walk,
your paws are always sore,
and you can't stand on your own anymore. Good flow through rhyme here
I stick my fingers down your throat a disgusting image
to make you swallow all of your pills,
and bathe you daily cause you sleep in your own filth.
I wake up everyday
to feed your stubborn face. I love the use of "stubborn" here creates a great image of the animal's face
You're always rude and never eat your food.
You know I hate you.

There's no reason to fear the dark,
no reason to bite or bark,
if you just give up that spark you'll play in heaven's park.
Go down Charlie,
I know it must be hard. A nice repetition of the first stanza and a good flow throughout as well

Where did you go?
I miss you in my life.
It wasn't til you left for me to realize:
I never saw your family,
and never knew your friends.
It must have been just you and me in the end. I love the way the owner realises their importance to the animal

Oh Charlie,
I'm sorry.

Overall a nice poem with some interesting random rhyming throughout which helps with the flow throughout.  Some good use of repetition which makes this a touching piece.

[Lizzie]

I like this too, Crundle. What makes it a dynamic piece for me is the honesty of "You know I hate you" then contrasted with "it must have been just you and me in the end." These kinds of conflicting feelings make up our most important relationships -- that's what makes it ring true.