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I remember my Galileo moment,
viewing Jupiter through a telescope.
A sphere, the sunlight on its surface
gradually curving into deep shadows.
A pale red smudge around the middle
and surrounding it four bright moons.
"It's half a billion miles away", I said,
showing you.
And you said,
"Huh, those five dots?"
As my axis shifted and sent me spinning
in a mercurial orbit towards the pub.
 wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
Love it, especially L11. 
This could become a great sonnet.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
(06-16-2016, 07:53 PM)ellajam Wrote: Love it, especially L11.
This could become a great sonnet.
Thanks Ella.
I would have to learn how to write a sonnet first, it could be a good way to start.
Thanks for reading,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
my axis shifted, sent me onto a spin,
in mercurial orbit towards a bottle of gin.
ha, needs work. 
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
(06-16-2016, 06:00 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: I remember my Galileo moment,
viewing Jupiter through a telescope.
A sphere, the sunlight on it's surface
gradually curving into deep shadows.
A pale red smudge around the middle
and surrounding it four bright moons.
"It's half a billion miles away", I said,
showing you.
And you said,
"Huh, those five dots?"
As my axis shifted and sent me spinning
in a mercurial orbit towards the pub.
I enjoyed reading this poem. I like the metaphor in the last two lines. There was some nice alliteration in this poem but it wasn't overdone in my opinion. I liked the energy and the way it flowed. I liked the images in lines 2-5.
Posts: 1,147
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Joined: Nov 2013
(06-16-2016, 06:00 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: I remember my Galileo moment,
viewing Jupiter through a telescope.
A sphere, the sunlight on it's surface
gradually curving into deep shadows.
A pale red smudge around the middle
and surrounding it four bright moons.
"It's half a billion miles away", I said,
showing you.
And you said,
"Huh, those five dots?"
As my axis shifted and sent me spinning
in a mercurial orbit towards the pub. Wait a minute....Juno?
Also, "the sunlight on its surface"
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
(07-10-2016, 03:06 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: (06-16-2016, 06:00 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: I remember my Galileo moment,
viewing Jupiter through a telescope.
A sphere, the sunlight on it's surface
gradually curving into deep shadows.
A pale red smudge around the middle
and surrounding it four bright moons.
"It's half a billion miles away", I said,
showing you.
And you said,
"Huh, those five dots?"
As my axis shifted and sent me spinning
in a mercurial orbit towards the pub. Wait a minute....Juno?
Also, "the sunlight on its surface"
Do you mean Juno the inappropriately named probe that is currently ermm probing Jupiter? Any coincidence is purely coincidental, I had not planned it and synchronicity is a term that has slipped from my vocabulary along with sympathetic vibration; so it is most definitely coincidence.
I wrote to NASA and complained about them naming a probe the same name as an asteroid, that's crazy, you wouldn't call it the Mercury probe. NASA wrote back and said that when I've learnt to use the apostrophe correctly they will consider my opinion.
Thanks for pointing that one out, I can't believe I've made that damn mistake again.
Cheers for reading 
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 1,147
Threads: 466
Joined: Nov 2013
(07-12-2016, 09:07 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: (07-10-2016, 03:06 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: (06-16-2016, 06:00 PM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: I remember my Galileo moment,
viewing Jupiter through a telescope.
A sphere, the sunlight on it's surface
gradually curving into deep shadows.
A pale red smudge around the middle
and surrounding it four bright moons.
"It's half a billion miles away", I said,
showing you.
And you said,
"Huh, those five dots?"
As my axis shifted and sent me spinning
in a mercurial orbit towards the pub. Wait a minute....Juno?
Also, "the sunlight on its surface"
Do you mean Juno the inappropriately named probe that is currently ermm probing Jupiter? Any coincidence is purely coincidental, I had not planned it and synchronicity is a term that has slipped from my vocabulary along with sympathetic vibration; so it is most definitely coincidence.
I wrote to NASA and complained about them naming a probe the same name as an asteroid, that's crazy, you wouldn't call it the Mercury probe. NASA wrote back and said that when I've learnt to use the apostrophe correctly they will consider my opinion.
Thanks for pointing that one out, I can't believe I've made that damn mistake again.
Cheers for reading
Mark http://xkcd.com/1703/
no wait, now we're drifting out of orbit
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