In fire

[nikkisto]

Cracked earth below,
Scorching sun lays waste to life-
Burning redemption
                                                               

*Note* The first in a number of self-imposed exercises aimed at weaning me off the use of redundant descriptors...

[cidermaid]

hi,
sorry this one did not do anything for me in terms of catching my attention. each line only told me something i had heard before either as an image descriptor or as a common idea / phase of speech.
perhaps try again with your original prompts and see where your imagination takes you instead of trying to mold this into a complete image...the whole felt forced.

For me, in terms of information, i got scorching or burning/ wasting away or dried husk / judgement from reading the actual words in your poem
so perhaps an ideas bounce from this could look like:-

sun cracked garden
lemonade days
goldfish wither and waste

your poem to play with. hope this helps AJ.

[nikkisto]

It helped very much, I like yours better Thanks!

[RiverNotch]

Cracked earth below,
Scorching sun lays waste to life-
Burning redemption
                                                               

*Note* The first in a number of self-imposed exercises aimed at weaning me off the use of redundant descriptors...

Needs more flavor. "Cracked earth" says "scorching sun" easy, and "redemption" and "waste to life" show nothing.