Big fish - Small pond

[Erthona]

Big fish - Small pond
 
Psychopaths gathering,
sniffing out brutality and blood.
Daesh is calling them home.
Fish in a barrel Pa, fish in a barrel! * 
 
 
–Erthona
 


*As it would have been disruptive to the poem I did not write the last line in the dialect of the people who would use the phrase. Just for fun, a general approximation (as it is covering a large swath of rural folks below the Mason–Dixon line) would sound something like this:

"Fayesh an awh bay-row Paw" 

"Fayesh" is pronounced as a diaeresis, similar to a diphthong.

The phrase signifies the straight-forward (seeing things in their simplest form, or seeing things for what it is) thinking of rural Southerners. 
©2015

[belkar]

I think this poem is very elegent and powerful. I believe the author is stating that those who hear the call of the Daesh, or Islamic State, as Wiki has informed me, become fish in a barrel to their psychological attacks. I could be completely wrong about this, and I mean no offense, but i believe the author is making a political statement.

[Erthona]

Belkar,

First off Welcome to the site.

Belkar wrote: i believe the author is making a political statement.

I would say my intention was more philosophical attitude, or even a strategic one; if the readers get something other than what was intended it is the writer's fault, not theirs.  

Thank you, I always appreciate the use of time to read and comment

Dale

[srijantje]

i thought it was a bit of both
anyway ,the impression I got is you meant,jump all in the barrel together,then we know where you are

[Erthona]

SJJ wrote "the impression I got is you meant,jump all in the barrel together,then we know where you are "

That's mainly it, the only part you may be missing is what we do when we have fish in a barrel. easier than shooting fish in a barrel. It also gives a different view of the war, changing it from a burden to an opportunity.

I used the partial quote not thinking people would not know the full quote, that was probably a mistake. The full quote is
"Like shooting fish in a barrel."

Thanks for your comments,

Dale 

[Tiger the Lion]

Dale, at first I thought this might have been inspired by Obama's prayer breakfast remarks. (and their contrived fallout)
And I thought it quite clever on that level, but see you were going for something similar yet different. Clever either way.
For me, "Pa" makes the poem. It reveals setting, mentality, class,,,,and in general gives context to the whole piece.
Thanks for the read Pa,
Paul

[tectak]

Big fish - Small pond
 
Psychopaths gathering,
sniffing out brutality and blood.
Daesh is calling them home.
Fish in a barrel Pa, fish in a barrel! * 
 
 
–Erthona
 


*As it would have been disruptive to the poem I did not write the last line in the dialect of the people who would use the phrase. Just for fun, a general approximation (as it is covering a large swath of rural folks below the Mason–Dixon line) would sound something like this:

"Fayesh an awh bay-row Paw" 

"Fayesh" is pronounced as a diaeresis, similar to a diphthong.

The phrase signifies the straight-forward (seeing things in their simplest form, or seeing things for what it is) thinking of rural Southerners. 
©2015

Truth-sayer....if that last line was in any language but native (my word) american I would be happier with the ultimate outcome of what is liable (destined/planned/arranged)to become known as the "Fish in a Barrel War".
This is terse-verse of a high order...I think the thought is right, I hope no one asks me what I think. The exclamation mark at the end gives a weakness to the piece which is probably not intentional nor advantageous.
Best,
tectak

[srijantje]

didn't want to suggest what to do once you got them in a barrel,something alternative maybe?

in a barrel
fayesh feed
on themselves

[Erthona]

Thanks Tom. I used the rural Southerner for the last line (reacting to the three above) as they can get away with saying non-PC type things. In our PC world one cannot get away with saying such cruel things, but in the world of the rural Southerner (and of course this is a generalization, as well as stereotypical) if there is a rabid dog you kill it, you don't try to capture it and cure it. A very hard nosed pragmatism with the tender emotions constrained. You can't really get emotionally attached with to an animal when you plan in the future to kill it and eat it. Urbane people often disparage this type of attitude, but then again they do not have to kill the meat they eat, so it is easy for them to look down their nose at the people who have become inured to death.

SJJ,

That would be nice, although I don't think one could count on that for a while as they have a common bond in the ecstasy of raping, torturing, and killing. As they get pushed back more and become contained I think that is when you will see more of that. Currently there is more than enough to go around. Remember the core of the Daesh are former Saddam Baathist thugs, plus the other psychopathic sadist they have drawn in. It would be nice to see the worm turn, sooner rather than later.

Both of you, thanks for your comments, very stimulating,

Dale