This is why I hate to drive

[justcloudy]

He was a cat of royal breeding
back straight, eyes unblinking
stock still—a form of begging
tempted by meat grilling above...
slowly form and shape meld in
to plastic trapped on metal pole.

Feathers that had come so far
now lay smashed against the tar
flapping up from gusts of cars
implying life, not flight as gone...
marred plumage turns to spotted gray
old newspaper's dying form.

That giant snarling canine came
roaring out from dark again
creature emerging from the rain
crushing life beneath its claws...
foaming fangs convert to grills
on an old diesel moving van.

Links twist between eyes and mind
my lines are crossed and make me blind,
I see misery in trash, I find
demons stalking out in stealth...
my little frightened brain can't tell
what’s outside and what’s in.

[Wjames]

He was a cat of royal breeding
back straight, eyes unblinking I naturally pause at the end of both these first two lines, you might want to add some punctuation.
stock still—a form of begging
tempted by meat grilling above...
slowly form and shape meld in
to plastic trapped on metal pole. Interesting image of a car (I believe), but if the meat is on the car itself, why would it be begging itself (maybe like a hungry person waiting for food to cook)?

Feathers that had come so far
now lay smashed against the tar
flapping up from gusts of cars
implying life, not flight as gone... this line is a little awkward to me, "as gone" is strange phrasing.
marred plumage turns to spotted gray
old newspaper's dying form.  I like the image of old, splotted newspaper as a comparable for a dead animal's feathers

That giant snarling canine came
roaring out from dark again I pause at the end of this line as well
creature emerging from the rain
crushing life beneath its claws...
foaming fangs convert to grills
on an old diesel moving van.

Links twist between eyes and mind
my lines are crossed and make me blind,
I see misery in trash, I find I think "I find" might read better as "finding" even though it's not an "end" rhyme.
demons stalking out in stealth...
my little frightened brain can't tell
what’s outside and what’s in. I like the end, but it took me a few reads to get what you meant by "what's outside and what's in" (your mind, I think).

I really like the rhyme scheme and the central metaphor of the poem, and I like the statement as a title as well; it's different.

[Leah S.]

He was a cat of royal breeding
back straight, eyes unblinking
stock still—a form of begging
tempted by meat grilling above...
slowly form and shape meld in
to plastic trapped on metal pole. this image needs to be a vivid as the others. confused by "slowly" and not sure what sort of pole it is, fence, signpost, billboard? get rid of "in" since "meld to" is more concise and accurate.

Feathers that had come so far
now lay smashed against the tar
flapping up from gusts of cars
implying life, not flight as gone... "gone" also confuses me, syntax wise
marred plumage turns to spotted gray
old newspaper's dying form.

That giant snarling canine came
roaring out from dark again
creature emerging from the rain
crushing life beneath its claws...
foaming fangs convert to grills
on an old diesel moving van.

Links twist between eyes and mind
my lines are crossed and make me blind,
I see misery in trash, I find
demons stalking out in stealth...
my little frightened brain can't tell
what’s outside and what’s in.

If you follow the pattern, the last stanza should present you (the narrator) as beautiful, powerful, proud, free and dangerous, and then show you (in italics) smashed and left behind to desiccate. That would really pack a punch. This is a good poem already. Excited to see what more you do with it.
[/b]Best, Leah

[justcloudy]

Thanks Wj for taking the time to look this one over. I think you're right about the punctuation, I'll get on that. Really appreciate your take. =] (PS also love your sig)

Leah I love your thoughts on the last stanza-- I'll see what I can do. Thank you!

-justcloudy

[71degrees]

I don't mind rhyme / scheme poems, I don't...but sometimes, I think, poets are trapped in what they can present to the reader by the same scheme they are trying to maintain. Wouldn't mind seeing this one in an alternate "free verse" so to speak) form.

I also like the idea of "road kill" (relationship?) and the things one thinks about smashing and killing defenseless stupid animals (people in these relationships?) or what's left of them "after" the carnage. I live in a rural area and have been hit (I don't hit them, they hit me) three times by 150 to 250 lb deer. Not pretty, any of these times...my truck looking like it's been bombed. The analogy to a relationship is quite original. I like it. I just think it may be "trapped" somewhat by the scheme of the poem.  

I like the newspaper reference (yesterday's news?)  The "crossed" eyes is also an interesting image to me.  Words I question that may throw off the idea: Trash?  Demons?  I find the last line a bit of a puzzle, also.

Overall, a compelling poem. I like it.  Good luck w/it.

71degrees

[justcloudy]

Thanks 71, love your take. Ima think on and play with this one and see where it takes me.

[tmanzano]

He was a cat of royal breeding
back straight, eyes unblinking
stock still—a form of begging
tempted by meat grilling above...
slowly form and shape meld in - a little confusing here
to plastic trapped on metal pole.

Feathers that had come so far
now lay smashed against the tar
flapping up from gusts of cars - The imagery used here is very good
implying life, not flight as gone...
marred plumage turns to spotted gray
old newspaper's dying form. - more good imagery here

That giant snarling canine came
roaring out from dark again
creature emerging from the rain
crushing life beneath its claws...
foaming fangs convert to grills - a moving van passes in line of sight? 
on an old diesel moving van.

Links twist between eyes and mind
my lines are crossed and make me blind,
I see misery in trash, I find
demons stalking out in stealth...
my little frightened brain can't tell
what’s outside and what’s in. - questioning reality as suggested in "twists between eyes and  mind"? 

I am not sure if you were wanting to capture a vignette from a sidewalk or maybe a bus stop, or maybe in a car seeing out? Daydreaming while distractions shift into line of sight. The most poignant line for me being "I see misery in trash" and the entire ending stanza. I am not sure if some psychosis may be present here in "frightened brain"? On the whole, a compeling argument to walk tomorrow. Thank you for the post. 

[just mercedes]

I'm confused by the cat and dog - I see a car crash, a bird hit and killed, but the dog and cat? I'm just not getting it, sorry. My brain must be tired.