Desert Skies

[aerickson]

I grew up in a small village in west Africa on the edge of the Sahara desert and this is inspired from that time. Harmatan is a season where it is very windy, dry, and HOT.

Desert Skies

Oh desert sky with your many hues,
your face of so many expressions.
From hour to hour and day to day
you're constantly changing your fashion.
With the rain and the clouds
and the crystal clear air,
you reflect the deepest of blues.
And as the sun sets, with it's deep shade of ocher,
from on high is the clearest of views.
Oh desert sky with your Harmatan,
Your face painted over with dust.
From morning till noon and on until night
The wind blows from gust into gust.
Then we cower inside,
For there's nothing to see,
For the wind, as it blows, has won.
Yet as the day closes and lays down its egg,
The wind whispers softly, 'I'm done'.
Oh desert sun with your blazing heat,
Risen up in the morn with a shout!
You dry up our wells and deaden the land,
So we hide in our huts throughout.
You heat up the sand
With your oceans of light,
Your conquest is all but complete.
Yet all is not lost, for the sun too must rest,
So rise up and get back on your feet
Oh desert sky in your midnight black,
Your velvet bespangled with light.
The stars in their motion across the sky;
Their jeweled race through the night.
Orion's bright belt
and the Sisters on high
watch the satellites move in the black,
but then all too soon, comes the graying of light
and the sun coming out of its bivouac

Oh desert sky, with your many hues
Your face with so many expressions...

[RiverNotch]

The rhythm of the poem feels rather inconsistent, though I'm not entirely sure how to correct that. Also, some apostrophes seem out of place, or completely lacking: I suggest you correct those. For the specific line, "Risen up in the morn with a shout!", I suggest you alter the wording a bit, just to make the sentence flow and work better in terms of grammar and rhythm. Other than that, the poem feels quite charming in its expression of, I suppose, love for the desert sky; to keep in the theme of the first and last lines, though, I suggest you add to the poem's sense of color by adding more vivid and thorough descriptions of the "desert sky, with [its] many hues"...

[AnywherebutHere]

I grew up in a small village in west Africa on the edge of the Sahara desert and this is inspired from that time. Harmatan is a season where it is very windy, dry, and HOT.

Desert Skies

Oh desert sky with your many hues,
your face of so many expressions.
From hour to hour and day to day
you're constantly changing your fashion.
With the rain and the clouds
and the crystal clear air,
you reflect the deepest of blues.
And as the sun sets, with it's deep shade of ocher,
from on high is the clearest of views.
Oh desert sky with your Harmatan,
Your face painted over with dust.
From morning till noon and on until night
The wind blows from gust into gust.
Then we cower inside,
For there's nothing to see,
For the wind, as it blows, has won.
Yet as the day closes and lays down its egg,
The wind whispers softly, 'I'm done'.
Oh desert sun with your blazing heat,
Risen up in the morn with a shout!
You dry up our wells and deaden the land,
So we hide in our huts throughout.
You heat up the sand
With your oceans of light,
Your conquest is all but complete.
Yet all is not lost, for the sun too must rest,
So rise up and get back on your feet
Oh desert sky in your midnight black,
Your velvet bespangled with light.
The stars in their motion across the sky;
Their jeweled race through the night.
Orion's bright belt
and the Sisters on high
watch the satellites move in the black,
but then all too soon, comes the graying of light
and the sun coming out of its bivouac

Oh desert sky, with your many hues
Your face with so many expressions...

I agree with the last poster that the rhyming is a bit inconsistent, however I did enjoy the poem it had some good lines like "Yet all is not lost, for the sun too must rest,
So rise up and get back on your feet"

In the beginning you write "from hour to hour, day to day"
you can flip that around because usually people describe the longer idea first which is the day, and then the hour.

"you reflect the deepest of blues.
And as the sun sets, with it's deep shade of ocher," you should try not to describe colors with the same word, keyword in this is "deep", try to find another descriptive word, like "rich shade of ocher" perhaps.

"from on high is the clearest of views."
This line does not make sense to me, do you mean up high is the clearest of views? I am not sure.

"Risen up in the morn with a shout!" is an awkward phrasing

good job on the poem I think with some work and it has good potential