Poem to my love

[ABrokenHeart]

Always nice to join a forum and receive a warning, see you later.

[rowens]

She might like it. I've seen girls break down and sob over worse.

It seems to rhyme and talk easy.

When you mangle sentences and force the easy rhymes, most people won't like that. But most people don't matter.

You could cut some of the awkward sounding lines, if you can see them yourself.

[billy]

abrokenheart;

Please read our rules on posting poetry and giving feedback/mod

[equinesun]

From the perspective of a woman with little poetry background (who I assume your wife is) your poem is beautiful. It is personal and meaningful without being too sappy or cheesy. I think she will love it.