Alone I Charge into the Evening Breeze

[Vistaldust]

"Alone I Charge into the Evening Breeze". Villanelle inspired by Brownie

Alone I charge into the evening breeze,
like confetti against the lighted moon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

Alone I charge into the evening breeze.
If this grey world lay itself to ruin,
and the children of David bend their knees,

I've no one left in which to please,
the sun and stars are my truest boon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

the gilded stars are my trapeze.
Shadowed night is a bride and I the groom,
alone I charge into the evening breeze.

Floating high above salt-fed seas,
I'll find a cloud in which to squeeze.
I'll unleash the rain from it's drawing room,

to dampen the fire of lingual disease.
Yet until I fall once more toward to the womb,
alone I charge into the evening breeze,
floating high above salt-fed seas.

[Vistaldust]

"Alone I Charge into the Evening Breeze". Villanelle inspired by Brownie

Alone I charge into the evening breeze,
like confetti against the lighted moon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

Alone I charge into the evening breeze.
If this grey world lay itself to ruin,
and the children of David bend their knees,

I've no one left in which to please,
the sun and stars are my truest boon.
Floating high above the salt-fed seas,

the gilded stars are my trapeze.
Morning light is a bride and I the groom,
alone I charge into the evening breeze.

Floating high above salt-fed seas,
I'll find a cloud in which to squeeze.
I'll unleash the rain from it's drawing room,

to dampen the fire of lingual disease.
Yet until I fall once more toward to the womb,
alone I charge into the evening breeze,
floating high above salt-fed seas.

First, you might want to consider going here:

http://pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=10115

The reason I suggest this is, in the critical forum, I would rather address the content but you don't have the form correct, in the practice forum, I would rather address the form. After you get the form right in the practice forums it is perfectly acceptable to repost in the critical forums for critique of content.

I hope I am being clear and helpful here.

Okay, thanks. I'll post this in the practice forum.

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milo, I don't see a practice forum, unless you are referring to miscellaneous or poetry or fun?

[Vistaldust]

First, you might want to consider going here:

http://pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=10115

The reason I suggest this is, in the critical forum, I would rather address the content but you don't have the form correct, in the practice forum, I would rather address the form. After you get the form right in the practice forums it is perfectly acceptable to repost in the critical forums for critique of content.

I hope I am being clear and helpful here.

Okay, thanks. I'll post this in the practice forum.

---

milo, I don't see a practice forum, unless you are referring to miscellaneous or poetry or fun?

did you click the link I left?

http://pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=10115

Yes, I'm reading the poem you wrote and how it fits the description you laid out.

[Vistaldust]

milo, I have to ask. Are the experienced poets on here, such as yourself, using this forum to get their poems ready to send for publication? Are some of you guys getting published, already?

[Vistaldust]

milo, I have to ask. Are the experienced poets on here, such as yourself, using this forum to get their poems ready to send for publication? Are some of you guys getting published, already?

We have a thread for that as well, in the discussion forum. The answer is as complex as the question as poets write for different reasons. Some poets on this site have published several books (Leanne for 1, I recommend chcking amazon for leanne hanson).

I had always swore I would never publish a word I wrote as I write for amusement but I did recently break down and self-publish 2 books myself. There are others who have books (Anthony McCafferty, etc.) and some who are preparing or who may have books or poem published but just don't advertise the fact.

I would love to continue the discussion as I think it is interesting but I would prefer to do so in the General Discussion.

No problem. Still learning protocols.....lol ....thanks