Forgotten sight

[billy]

leave some feedback on other poets work, while it's not mandatory, it is the fair thing to do

The grey, blacked-out, path of a thousand followers,
Thousand, million voice the facts, opinions thrown to the side of them.
Stars chucked across black out skies;
Meteors, shooting stars, cast back down to earth;
Ripped from hollow headed mantels, hacked from orange damsels, far from distress,
The popular life, kids, mass-producers, controlled through made up, fantasized realisms,
Thrown with cigarettes, thrown with joints, thrown with drugs,
Torn from worn televisions with pictures of hallucinating public statues and tragic stories; this is the poem it's strong, it has image and it's original.

Lost boys with only a companion to the left and right, ridiculed by attractive organisms. orgasms would have made good wordplay
Forgotten with wars, visionaries and slavery,
Wasted youth, deteriorated from birth, the scolding mark in their mind, scaring them from loving, feeling and forgetting.
Wondering only in solitary packs, two or three at a time,
Called from non-existing phones, bursting with false friendships,
Only the laughter that comes from the pen, the ink that flows through naked bodies as red blood and memories,
Caught in safety nets which only exist in the imagination
Life’s which should be lived in day number one, not two,
Intimacy, romanticism, subsistence to the fashioned, crowd-pleasing, tasteless public's, no need for ['s] something worth taking from here to the stanza's beginning.
To where contemporary fools flush in hands full of insignificant and hopeful oblivion's.
Plucked from suburban prying hands,
Only to be thrown, chucked, abandoned,
Put out, rotting, the flesh of a thousand running down the iced out rivers,
Dead.

this has a lot going for it. it needs some to be stripped way in order to leave the good poem in there behind. mainly some of the beginning and some of the end. all in all, a good effort. a life of sheepdom is the route for many of us

thanks for the read.