07-19-2012, 12:41 AM
I haven't spent a great deal of time with this form so I don't feel comfortable critiquing it yet. I do like the lines though and loved the idea of a cliff shedding it's skin and I loved the last line also for its surprise factor. Maybe instead of Mountain something that would suggest a serpentine or snakelike road shape to play of the shedding skin.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
