A Senryu on zen
#2
I haven't spent a great deal of time with this form so I don't feel comfortable critiquing it yet. I do like the lines though and loved the idea of a cliff shedding it's skin and I loved the last line also for its surprise factor. Maybe instead of Mountain something that would suggest a serpentine or snakelike road shape to play of the shedding skin.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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Messages In This Thread
A Senryu on zen - by billy - 07-18-2012, 04:43 PM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by Todd - 07-19-2012, 12:41 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by Aish - 07-19-2012, 02:10 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by billy - 08-21-2012, 11:57 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by cidermaid - 11-13-2012, 05:40 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by billy - 11-16-2012, 01:04 PM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by ChristopherSea - 02-13-2014, 12:50 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by heslopian - 03-13-2014, 09:46 AM
RE: A Senryu on zen - by rayheinrich - 03-13-2014, 01:59 PM



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