Astral Projection in Nightmares

[billy]

Grey shadows fall and seep through seams would a comma work better than the 'and'? though that would screw the meter up, so maybe use another option
Morphing threads of mundane life morphing threads are exceptional words to use, as we all know; in astral travel the body is said to tethered by a thread. is this line a foot short in the meter?
Becoming complex patterned dreams i'm not keen on becoming but to change it to become would kick the meter out, and i have no suggestions.
By weaving trailing webs of strife

And from these fragile, fractured streams nice effin f's
No meed or recompense be bought
As darkness covers days last gleam
Invoking astral planes so fraught not sure the invoking works that well.and astral is a big word to use twice.

Substance seeks a hallowed haven
In which to gain some sweet reprieve
Clash of will ‘tween dove and raven cheeky little line, love the comparison.
And caverns echo cry's of grief

A coffin-weight of worry grows
And thus portends with sagging dread
When everywhere an ill-wind blows feels cliche.
On veins of deconstructed web

Feelings stripped and harshly flayed
With chords of tension holding taut great line tying chords, tension and taught, together
Solace cloaked in darkening spray
Where true will can, and must, be sought

To deviate from one’s true course
Will take from where the answers lie
Bravely face opposing force
For mystic birds of peace to fly

Rest is claimed with this now ending
Amidst brilliant, shimm’ring glow feels forced
Unveiling mists from light transcending
Revealing higher realms on show

A soul is salved in darkened hour
Once-fractured thoughts, restored
Free from chaotic evil’s scour
To journey back on silver chord

i'm reminded of Dennis Wheatley's the devil rides out....though this isn't as black artsy as that

some great alliteration and assonance going on throughout the poem which gives it a graceful flowing quality. i notice the repetition of fractured but in this case it worked. not sure about the meter in places,
(i'm not qualified for an indepth on that aspect but it did seem off in a couple of places. needless to say, i really enjoyed it. some good images and a feeling some great fight between dark and light.

thanks for the read.

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please accept my apologies, i thought it were in serious crit and i did a line by line...i'll be more vigilant in future. <---billy you stupid person. my excuse is.....did you see Todd's feedback

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bugger, i see you already did an edit while i were posting.

the ings removal works well as does the rest except for; spider venom increases flow
a suggestion would be;

spider venom's increased flow

sorry for not replying sooner