07-17-2012, 09:31 AM
Grey shadows mist and seep through seams -changed fall to mist
Morphed in threads of mundane life lost the 'ing
Becoming complex pattern’d dreams
to weave these trailing webs of strife lost the 'ing
And from these fragile fractured streams
No meed or recompense be bought
As darkness covers days last gleam
Invoking astral planes so fraught
Substance seeks a hallowed haven
In which to gain some sweet reprieve
Clash of will ‘tween dove and raven
And caverns echo cries of grief spell correction
A coffin-weight of worry grows
will this requiem never ebb? removed ill wind but
spider venom increases flow not sure this works
On veins of deconstructed web
Feelings stripped and largely flayed changed harshly
With chords of tension holding taut
Solace cloaked in darkening spray
Where true will can, and must, be sought
To deviate from one’s true course
Will take from where the answers lie
Bravely face opposing force
For mystic bird of peace to fly to singular for dove only
Rest is claimed with this now ending
Amidst brilliant, shimm’ring glow
Unveiling mists from light transcending
Revealing higher realms on show
A soul is salved in darkened hour
Once-fractured thoughts, restored
Free from chaotic evil’s scour gotta think more on this
To journey back on silver chord.
Hi Tood, thanks for the welcome and generous critique! it was a great help, have no issue at all with the depth of it. feel free to go further if needed, I only stay away from the serious forum because I cannot reciprocate, nor equal the level! (even your comment on compound construction baffles!) add more if the changes jar! thanks again
Morphed in threads of mundane life lost the 'ing
Becoming complex pattern’d dreams
to weave these trailing webs of strife lost the 'ing
And from these fragile fractured streams
No meed or recompense be bought
As darkness covers days last gleam
Invoking astral planes so fraught
Substance seeks a hallowed haven
In which to gain some sweet reprieve
Clash of will ‘tween dove and raven
And caverns echo cries of grief spell correction
A coffin-weight of worry grows
will this requiem never ebb? removed ill wind but
spider venom increases flow not sure this works
On veins of deconstructed web
Feelings stripped and largely flayed changed harshly
With chords of tension holding taut
Solace cloaked in darkening spray
Where true will can, and must, be sought
To deviate from one’s true course
Will take from where the answers lie
Bravely face opposing force
For mystic bird of peace to fly to singular for dove only
Rest is claimed with this now ending
Amidst brilliant, shimm’ring glow
Unveiling mists from light transcending
Revealing higher realms on show
A soul is salved in darkened hour
Once-fractured thoughts, restored
Free from chaotic evil’s scour gotta think more on this
To journey back on silver chord.
Hi Tood, thanks for the welcome and generous critique! it was a great help, have no issue at all with the depth of it. feel free to go further if needed, I only stay away from the serious forum because I cannot reciprocate, nor equal the level! (even your comment on compound construction baffles!) add more if the changes jar! thanks again