07-10-2012, 09:29 PM
Hello billy! Thank you for the suggestion about moving the thread to a more appropriate subforum. I hope the moderator can move the thread instead of restarting.
I'm taking the opinions of you members seriously in my consideration. The poetic sexual content needs overall improvement/beautified. I will work on it as well as other parts needs to be corrected to be aesthetically pleasing. I'm satisfied with the love theme cause the common situation as many people experience makes it down-to-earth. The story of the love poem begins with thoughts of being abandoned (lonely) by the love partner (i.e. a break up) and that all was short-lived. In the middle (my new part) tells the confession for the reader that he was cheating. And in the end things brighten and ends well (and the love becomes eternal). Thank you for the clearness addy!
Here are some fragments I have been on working on (state your opinion!):
I'm taking the opinions of you members seriously in my consideration. The poetic sexual content needs overall improvement/beautified. I will work on it as well as other parts needs to be corrected to be aesthetically pleasing. I'm satisfied with the love theme cause the common situation as many people experience makes it down-to-earth. The story of the love poem begins with thoughts of being abandoned (lonely) by the love partner (i.e. a break up) and that all was short-lived. In the middle (my new part) tells the confession for the reader that he was cheating. And in the end things brighten and ends well (and the love becomes eternal). Thank you for the clearness addy!
Here are some fragments I have been on working on (state your opinion!):
Quote:I wonder as I wander
Down these lonely streets
My thoughts are alone
The day is ending
Moonlight shadows comes
Bright city lights shines
I return home
I sit down
And write what I like
And read verses about love
Drowsy of red wine
I call you one last time
You answer sweetly
Plenty are enough!
You, my one and only
My everlasting love!