nicotine and the ways of the universe

[billy]

Today I watched a homeless woman
stash her belongs in the bushes at the park
while I sat eating chips for me this would make a stronger start, with the 1st line (without today) becoming the 2nd line

She asked me to watch her stuff
while she went over to the bottle-o
to buy one can of bourbon and coke
that I’m now watching her drink
and thinking how inappropriate it is
that I want to bum a smoke off her
when I have the money to buy my own
(ignoring the fact that I don’t even smoke) an any more would tell a better truth i like the narrative

We got talking over the ducks
picking at someone’s discarded pizza
on the ground

Four hours later
and we’d discussed the universe
I bought a cigarette off her for a $1
(‘cause even the poor have pride)
and made the $3.35 in her pocket
$4.35 – enough to buy her dinner more good narrative.
and a cigarette for me to break the month
since the last time I gave in to the lure
of nicotine the title says it all so this line feel forced. is it needed?

i like the piece but i'm not sure it's one of those grammar free pieces. in places i was stopped unduly to look for a period or comma that wasn't there. i think you could help somewhat by restructuring the poem a little different. but it's only a suggestion.
i like the kindness that's held within the poem. and the way her problems are played off against the 1st persons failure at giving up cigs

thanks for the read.