06-29-2012, 06:09 PM
Hello Geoff. I couldn't understand your comment about breaking the metre in line 2. It looked already broken to me. I finally realised you're counting "hours" as 2 syllables. That's fair enough, though I wouldn't do it myself! The line seems to end abruptly for me.
The husk of Sunday morning comes
with ripened hours of daylight
to pluck and press. Our shadows run
down wooden stairs like broken kites
in leaden air, and break into
I like "soothed by avenues".
Ray
The husk of Sunday morning comes
with ripened hours of daylight
to pluck and press. Our shadows run
down wooden stairs like broken kites
in leaden air, and break into
I like "soothed by avenues".
Ray
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.