Mind battle

[addy]

I like the energy here... there's a good sense of action and motion, but some of your phrase choices hinder the pace rather than enhance it so I think you can work on those. "the blink starts"... why once more? "Chaos seen only in bird's eye"... can it be 'chaos in bird's eye'? Some of the extra words can kill the urgency and are not strictly necessary so you can ditch them . Just my two cents