06-27-2012, 10:25 AM
Geoff,
I think the revision flows very well. I like what you did. One nit: Can you find a better replacement for reinforce? It works but for some reason seems a bit out of place to me. It could be just me though, and either way the poem is strong.
Best,
Todd
I think the revision flows very well. I like what you did. One nit: Can you find a better replacement for reinforce? It works but for some reason seems a bit out of place to me. It could be just me though, and either way the poem is strong.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson