Still a tear fall

[addy]

Interesting piece. It's a sad love story, but written and veiled in a way that makes it read as rather eerie (abyss, red plus "blood of men", focus on the car as a grim reaper figure). I'd have assumed that the woman went mad from despair because of the tone (because of the "spiralling" abyss line), though you clearly state she's already dead so all that's moot.

I'll stick to mild comments for this. In general, i think this could be edited for, say, line breaks. For me there needs to be meat in each line, whereas in this piece there are a few lines that don't work too well as stand alones imo. You could spruce it up with a bit more imagery

A single tear falls through the ages of time and dust this parts a little cliche
Still it falls
Deep into the spiralling abyss
The eye it fell from
Long has returned to dust "Has long", I think. So far, I think the linearity of the idea could be phrased more clearly? What you want to say is more like 'the tear falls long after the eye it fell from has returned to dust.'
The woman who shed this tear
Once sat in her doorway
Wishing, hoping, fearing wishing and hoping put together is kind of cliche
For a truth that should neither be revealed or hidden
But it was "but was" works fine. Should there be a full stop here? Also, i feel there was a whole lot of 'telling' in these past four lines, maybe needs more imagery
The car pulled slowly up the street
Its paint, black with the dread it held
The door opened, lined with red cloth
The man slowly stepped forward repeat of "slowly". try to find a nw adjective
His chest decorated with the blood of men nice image for medals (i'm assuming? don't know if my assumption is correct)
Everything blurred, everything but that man and the car
She could hear nothing, but her heart and breath
That wish was not granted
That hope had faded
That fear I understand that this ties in with your earlier line about wish hope and fear, but these lines aren't really giving me anything, their vagueness diffusing the drama rather than ratcheting it up
That fear was standing in front of her
A tear falls from her eye
Still it falls
And still it will fall
Into the spiralling abyss
Until it finds the man
It fell for There's good potential in this ending. Maybe not "find", since a teardrop does not exactly seek, but definitely something to do with reaching him or touching him or something.


Thanks