06-18-2012, 07:23 PM
I enjoyed reading it because I'm morbid, but (funnily enough considering what you thought of mine!) I felt like it is a bit unrealistic and overly sharp and cynical. I know we're practically on opposite ends of the spectrum on this subject, but you stated that this was meant to reflect the feelings of someone who was once close to the person... So I feel like this poem contains too much of how you feel, rather then taking on another person P.O.V - I really don't honestly believe that, short of a sociopath, anyone would feel emotionless about someone close to them committing suicide, even IF they hadn't been close for years. I think that just disregards memory and the power of relationship. I worked with a little boy whose mother was a seriously awful heroin addict who abused and neglected him to the point where, at seven, he wasn't even toilet trained... But he still missed her. Ties that run deep are hard to cut, and even when cut, you don't just forget.