“So, The Wind Blows?”

[penguin]

Hello Erthona
It seems a tenuous link to the Raymond Briggs book, beyond the title I don't see it myself.
The repetition of "finally" in opening lines is a bit unimaginative or lazy. The 3rd line I don't take to at all - seems like a badly forced rhyme and out of rhythm to boot.I like "unnoted tongue", nice bit of invention

I’ve been waiting my whole life to finally get young,
I hope I’m still here when it finally comes,
and if I am, hope that I am new hung,
so I can sing of it with an unnoted tongue.

"Still" seems unnecessary and I'm not sure what exactly you're saying that you no longer do.

Still, my belly’s distended from starving too well,
everyone here’s paying for heaven with hell,
but to me a tie makes you look like a whore,
and I already told them I don’t do that no more..

"the should-er" is clever but as someone pointed out, there's an awful lot of I and I'm in here.

Now that I’m here, I’m all goose pimp-pel-ly,
I think I am close to who I thought I should be,
thanks for small favors, the should-er is dead,
he went out like a dog, when properly fed.

This is the best verse, I think, though you don't need a comma after "had" "spicy" or "truth" in my opinion - maybe just spice would be better.

My food’s always had, that killing effect,
a little more spicy, than you’d probably expect,
I prefer a good truth, that’ll stick to your ribs,
though he often speaks with a tongue that ain’t his.

Ditto the commas in this verse.Next time I'll not go?
it's not I that they kill?

This time I’ll not go, up to Cavalry’s Hill,
so when it repeats, it won't be me that they kill.
but the past you can't hide, if you'd start new again,
and you can’t sail away, if there isn’t a wind.