“So, The Wind Blows?”

[billy]

were it not for the footnote i'd have though by the title, it was about farting

I’ve been waiting my whole life to finally get young,
I hope I’m still here when it finally comes,
and if I am, hope that I am new hung,
so I can sing of it with an unnoted tongue.

Still, my belly’s distended from starving too well, great line and image
everyone here’s paying for heaven with hell,
but to me a tie makes you look like a whore, this line feels out of place
and I already told them I don’t do that no more..

Now that I’m here, I’m all goose pimp-pel-ly, pimperly feels forced
I think I am close to who I thought I should be,
thanks for small favors, the should-er is dead,
he went out like a dog, when properly fed. feels a bit to clever

My food’s always had, that killing effect,
a little more spicy, than you’d probably expect,
I prefer a good truth, that’ll stick to your ribs,
though he often speaks with a tongue that ain’t his.

This time I’ll not go, up to Cavalry’s Hill,
so when it repeats, it won't be me that they kill.
but the past you can't hide, if you'd start new again,
and you can’t sail away, if there isn’t a wind.

©2012 —Erthona

Note. The title is taken from the title of a book with more or less the same name "Where the Wind Blows".. It was (the book) a satirical look at the advice the government had given people in the event of a nuclear war, advice that as the book points out was for the most part nonsense. However, the idea of the wind blowing just means that trouble is coming (although in the title of this poem, it also works as a double entendre) probably because the wind that proceeds the leading edge of a frontal system, and following shortly behind it would probably be one of the worst storms of the season. Worst, If for no other reason that the that leading edge could gain rotation and start throwing off tornados, as well as it generally being one of the storms with the highest lighten potential. Personally, I didn’t think this needed explaining, as it is a fairly well know cultural idiom. However, I have been fooled before. The poem on the whole however is not written idiomatically, but rather as archetypal.
Oh, and yes, it was purposeful using "unnoted" rather than "unnoticed".

i have to be honest and say i found it disjointed. moving between images that seeming had no correlation. some good strong lines but some didn't gel with the poem. the tie, the well fed dog. i saw no problem with unnoted in fact it works on more than one level. i also had some problems making it flow. i'm crap at discovering what meter some things written in but somehow it felt jerky. as for the foot note, people who know about what you said won't need it and those who don't probably won't google it. to tell us the title is double entendre takes away from our discovering the fact. it's like giving us a surprise after telling us what it is.

thanks for the read as always.