Back to Black

[addy]

Like this one overall Indie, here are just a few thoughts:

V:3 (Small tweak)
It’s liquid death
These thoughts of you
Tobacco scents
And a whiskey’d song
To sing me home
Into the empty arms
Of a broken bed

Where I dream of tears
Carving pictures in my skin
My face a landscape
Of technicoloured memories
Fading to black
In my midnight reflection
Like the kiss
Of a self-destructive
Self-fulfilling prophecy This particular stanza didn't give me as much as I wanted it to. I like the black-technicolor-black "staging" you did with the three stanzas. But I think you could do more to highlight the mirroring that's happening between the first part of the stanza and the latter part (with the narrator metaphorically staring herself in the face, perhaps being her own demon)... the train of thought got cut off by the "memories" line, distracting the audience; so in that sense it wasn't as effective as it could have been.

Drowning languid
In a whiskey’d song
Of lonely lies among
Stagnant tobacco smoke Would've enjoyed these lines more as a subtler callback to the first stanza... as it is the imagery is too similar and so for me it comes off as repetitive
Dissipating in the cold night air