Back to Black

[Philatone]

hey indie!
really quick thoughts

It’s a liquid death
These thoughts of you
Tobacco scents
And a whiskey’d song...thought about switching this line and the line before, to draw a closer connection between "liquid" and "whiskey"
To sing me home
Into the empty arms
Of an empty bed

Where I dream of tears
Carving pictures in my skin
My face a landscape
Of technicoloured memories
Fading to black
In my vampire reflection...this line threw me off a bit; not sure of the intention
Like the kiss
Of a self-destructive
Self-fulfilling prophecy...in some ways, "self-fulfilling prophecy" already conveyed that sense of negativity by itself; not sure if the "self-destructive" is needed

Remembered only
In the drunken song ...i like the return to the opening, though I admit to have forgotten about elements of it (e.g., the song) and had to remind myself with a re-read. the distance between the two is large with no reminders
Of stagnant tobacco smoke
Dissipating in the cold night air

just some things to mull over; take what you will