Silence is Golden

[Philatone]

hey dale
some thoughts I had

I put my days in boxes so they can do no harm,
the lids are held securely with tightly knotted yarn. ...in a way, the adverbs felt a bit redundant to me (including the "quite" of the line below)
They are wedged quite snuggly and cannot move about,
gagged and muzzled well, so you’ll never hear them shout....in some ways, this line felt inconsistent with what preceded it. You always mention subjects in the lines above (the lids are held; they are wedged; they can do no harm) whereas here, it felt a bit chopped compared to what came before. who is the "you"? I feel as though I'm stretching my critique and being nitpicky, so if you take little from this I understand. these comments did come to mind, however, and I wanted to let you know
Just like all good children, seldom seen and never heard, ...personally, I stumbled from "children, seldom". probably just me though
so that when I’m in my grave, I will not be disturbed.

©2012 –Erthona

really like the dark undertones (especially of the final 2 lines) in a deceivingly peppy piece. I like the subject and writing; though I'm not sure if my comments will be of use