Desert Song ( Of the Camel)

[billy]

This sand is running in my veins, dry as the dust which gave me presence; is it dry dust which gives it presence?
and yet to you it is but sand.
Look to the rise where the trains of camel appear and vanish in trembling haze,
sun mixed with wind mixed with me.

Listen and you will hear my song, my father's song and his before him;
Haboob the breath that rasps the tune.
Sung are the words of Allah the Prophet, great his name in heavens above,
God mixed with sand mixed with me.

Feel now the warmth within this place, alive with heat that saves and succours;
but chilled the night to test the soul.
Thrown khaymahs sleep a thousand thinkers, all adrift on a thought-full sea, i like this line a lot, and i like the idea of a thought full head of dreams.
thought mixed with dreams mixed with me.

Blue-black and pricked still sky above, yet in lashed eyes, grains fall and leap.
No wind; yet flows the sand to me.
So here I lie, eyes of the desert, abd-sahara and servant of man
Beast mixed with man mixed with me.


tectak
2008

it certainly had a middle eastern feel to it. i thin in places it felt a little to heavy re packing words but that was okay, it sort of lent itself to the ambience of the thing. the first line felt cliche at the beginning and while an odd one is normally ok i'm not sure this one succeeds as it's on the first line. it brought to mind the tyger, i think it's because of the poem's title. the changing refrain worked really well; like shifting sand. one of the main things i liked about it. i could understand it. how it was part of the desert how it was part of man part of something wider than itself.
as i read it i thought :take that 'the' out, take that.....and after a few reads i wasn't so sure. now i'm glad i stayed my tongue. as it encapsulates places like egypt and places like it.

thanks for the read.