Opening Curtains:

[Philatone]

hey billy!

The barking bitch
births me into lancing sunlight ...I think the opening reinforces itself in a way with a quick, charged first line
'lazy bastard' expletives
broadside me.
The finger, periscoped from below
a warm duvet, ignored;...like the two lines above
with a nifty brush handle to the ribs
She pokes the cover away...need a period above or a lower-case 's'
revealing an early morning
piss proud prowler. it garners ...It. Oh, and nice alliteration, though perhaps a bit forced for it
ridicule instead of passion.
'Dream on pencil dick'
Her ambivalence excites me
but not as much as my bladder....I get it what it intends. I want to like it. But...getting excited by a bladder? Really? Motivates you to get out of bed, I understand, but excites? Perhaps just me, but it feels like a stretch

It's a fun piece to read; really captures a (quick) moment well