Memories of Ben

Memories of Ben

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

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Joined: Dec 2009

#24

05-02-2012, 05:47 PM

it reads much better, i still stall at the 'his blood drops off' line but that's not a biggie. in general it feels tighter, it still has that personal feel but more so for the reader. i think it's at that stage now where only you can say if it needs any more edits.

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Messages In This Thread

Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 10:34 AM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 04-30-2012, 12:30 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Erthona - 04-30-2012, 12:50 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 04-30-2012, 12:53 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 01:28 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 04-30-2012, 02:14 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by addy - 04-30-2012, 04:06 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 04:33 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by addy - 04-30-2012, 04:49 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by tectak - 04-30-2012, 04:48 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 05:19 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by tectak - 04-30-2012, 06:29 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 06:33 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Wildcard - 04-30-2012, 08:39 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 04-30-2012, 09:00 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Todd - 04-30-2012, 11:39 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-01-2012, 07:59 AM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 05-01-2012, 10:11 AM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-01-2012, 04:57 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 05-01-2012, 06:27 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-01-2012, 06:39 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Todd - 05-02-2012, 07:33 AM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-02-2012, 03:21 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 05-02-2012, 05:47 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-02-2012, 06:02 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by billy - 05-02-2012, 06:07 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Todd - 05-02-2012, 11:52 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by addy - 05-04-2012, 02:27 PM

RE: Memories of Ben - by Indie - 05-04-2012, 05:26 PM

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