04-27-2012, 02:59 PM
Hello Karren
I really enjoyed the first half of your poem. It was beautifully written.
However, the second part seemed awfully childish to me. It felt like someone screaming those last lines instead of expressing the true emotions that should of been in them. This poem has tons of potential. Maybe just go back and figure out how to end it more smoothly so it will flow better.
Hannah
I really enjoyed the first half of your poem. It was beautifully written.
However, the second part seemed awfully childish to me. It felt like someone screaming those last lines instead of expressing the true emotions that should of been in them. This poem has tons of potential. Maybe just go back and figure out how to end it more smoothly so it will flow better.
Hannah