04-19-2012, 12:22 PM
I have to agree with Billy, I would call it disjointed. Although there are punctuation problems, such as "-Go play with your toys!!"
(no hyphen right inside a quote mark as you are already setting it off with the quotes) is also problematic, clarity is the primary concern. To me it reads as being contrived, as though it were an exercise you had for school.
Dale
(no hyphen right inside a quote mark as you are already setting it off with the quotes) is also problematic, clarity is the primary concern. To me it reads as being contrived, as though it were an exercise you had for school.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.