04-17-2012, 11:31 PM
I loved the opening build up, I wanted it to be a ghost story of some kind and to be worried that telling the story itself is somehow inviting supernatural forces.. something like that.
This line-
"A fuel tank with a steamer as its berth."
I feel like it's too long, maybe drop the a
This line-
"A fuel tank with a steamer as its berth."
I feel like it's too long, maybe drop the a

