Oestra

[Leanne]

Ahhh, Oestra ( or osetra )....I must admit, I didn't understand at first, what your title had to do with the poem, till....I read Abu's review of how they were born to be a sacrifice, so that we may live. Interesting.
Of course, I had to read this a few times to let its meaning all soak in, but that's just me. The 2nd line in S2 tells it all: "stolen by three nails"....I love that.

I am just wondering about "frightened" in L3. I am thinking maybe it should be "frightening"? the frightening stench would describe what kind of stench it is, while the frightened stench makes it sound like it is the stench itself that is frightened....am I making any sense? Just a thought.

Thanks very much, Serah. Yes, I do want the stench to be frightened rather than frightening -- it's the odour given off by someone/thing that's frightened, as emotion changes the scent of sweat etc.

Oh...one more little thing: check your date on the REVISION...you have 6/4/12....think you meant 4/6/12, right? : )

Sorry to disappoint, but almost all the rest of the world uses D/M/Y date format, it's almost exclusively the US that does it your way

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i new it had something to do with easter? the nails gave it away

i had to look up the title

fort some reason poems relating to religion make me feel queasy. while this one doesn't, i am having a twinge
i think i'm the same with the 9/11 stuff, and other similar things. having to read them seems to be a penance, not because i see them as bad poetry but i automatically think. oh no, not again. that said, i was force fed religion as a kid so i have somewhat of an aversion to it. if i didn't know it was about easter i'd have liked it more
that said, i do think it was well written. the edit feels a lot better, the changes in the 1st stanza feel stronger, i particularly think the 1st line has more strength and works the opening much better.
sorry for not getting to it sooner

I don't write religious poems often, for much the same reason -- cringe, and a reluctance to go quite that personal, as I don't want to be seen criticising other people's faith so much as exploring it on a political level. However, occasionally (ok, more than just occasionally) some zealot says something that I feel obliged to correct