The Eternal Lie-In
#4
i think some of the things could be more definitive jack, this reality, led to musings etc but that said i really enjoyed the piece. i think a couple of words could be removed and that it would help make the poem stronger, like most poems a small edit would do wonders but i did enjoy it.
specially the end which i thought was excellent.
thanks for the read.

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Messages In This Thread
The Eternal Lie-In - by heslopian - 04-05-2012, 02:19 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by addy - 04-05-2012, 03:05 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by heslopian - 04-05-2012, 03:26 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by billy - 04-06-2012, 05:51 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by Erthona - 04-06-2012, 08:56 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by heslopian - 04-06-2012, 10:36 PM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by Philatone - 04-07-2012, 08:28 AM
RE: The Eternal Lie-In - by heslopian - 04-07-2012, 09:00 AM



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