My Father's absence:

[Philatone]

first thing I notice, just looking at the poem, it feels slightly unbalanced. not sure if that's a big deal for your intentions, but the line lengths from end to end are a bit shifty, even mid-stanza.

my last comment is that the new stanza feels a bit too summative for my liking. Maybe finding a new subject besides We, He, She, etc. could give it a bit more energy; otherwise, I feel as though it is trying to capture too many moments and put everything together.

again, just my take. I'm fine with the other adjustments