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[Philatone]

hello abu! my quick thoughts

Aspire she did, she did; she did aspire
To be, to be, to be.

Inspire she did, she did; she did inspire
To love, to love, to love ...these first two stanzas do not hit me as well as the others. I think the reason may be 1) they lack an action verb I can really imagine, and 2) they lack the reinforcement of an image. for instance, saying the "cliffs, the cliffs: the cliffs" really makes me imagine more and more cliffs and makes the scene come more alive. same with the sea and sky; the repetition makes them stronger. as a whole, this is my biggest comment for the piece; apologize if it is too biased on my part and if it is not helpful

Around the lanes, the lanes; the lanes around
She went, and went, and went

Along the shore, the shore; the shore along
She strode, she strode, she strode.

Beneath the cliffs, the cliffs; the cliffs beneath
Is Sea, is Sea, is Sea.

Of clouds she dreamed, she dreamed; she dreamed of clouds
And sky, and sky, and sky.

Her home she loves, she loves;she loves her home
And will, and will, and will.

enjoyed the read!