03-16-2012, 12:32 PM
Hi Geoff,
I'll try to come back to this later, but one quick comment
When I read the seashells line I thought it was great when I got to the in another room part I thought it detracted from the earlier image. I would consider cutting that phrase and let the image stand simply and in my opinion (and that's all it is) more powerfully.
I hope to come back to this.
Best,
Todd
I'll try to come back to this later, but one quick comment
When I read the seashells line I thought it was great when I got to the in another room part I thought it detracted from the earlier image. I would consider cutting that phrase and let the image stand simply and in my opinion (and that's all it is) more powerfully.
I hope to come back to this.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson