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Dress Code
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02-22-2012, 04:36 PM
I'd get rid of the last four lines; they're melodramatic and a bit too much like a summation (which I dislike). I'd also insert an additional stanza between ' "Freak." ' and 'You shed'. Something that adds a few more images to the story.
all this useless beauty... but what the hell, why not?
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Dress Code - by Philatone - 02-22-2012, 02:45 PM
RE: Dress Code - by Leanne - 02-22-2012, 02:56 PM
RE: Dress Code - by popeye - 02-22-2012, 03:39 PM
RE: Dress Code - by rayheinrich - 02-22-2012, 04:36 PM
RE: Dress Code - by Erthona - 02-22-2012, 08:10 PM
RE: Dress Code - by tectak - 02-22-2012, 10:00 PM
RE: Dress Code - by Wildcard - 02-23-2012, 06:35 AM
RE: Dress Code - by Philatone - 02-23-2012, 09:53 AM
RE: Dress Code - by Philatone - 02-23-2012, 12:46 PM
RE: Dress Code - by rayheinrich - 02-23-2012, 01:40 PM
RE: Dress Code - by Philatone - 02-23-2012, 03:14 PM
RE: Dress Code - by rayheinrich - 02-24-2012, 06:38 AM
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