Song of the Reluctant Nihilist

[tectak]

I might have been a thousand souls,
more and less in touch with God, beautiful line.I once read "if I could be a thousand souls,each knowing less of God"anon. Same thought?
treading the canyons of good and despair.
How simple and how beautiful existence would appear perhaps drop the second "how" if only because it is easily implied
in the light of moral clarity,
knowing if pain or empathy your heart beats to evoke. your heart? Or my heart. Moved away from 1st person.Small but noticeable shift in a "personal" piece
I am lost in the woods of the human spirit.

I would have liked to inhabit the bones
of a God-fearing woman, hermetic and chaste,
tending her roses and reading her psalms,
her vaginal leaves dying in synch
with those which fill the golden urns
guarding Yahweh's door. somehow synch is out of synch here. The stanza is just so homogenous that anything which destroys the smoothness is noticeable. Another word would need to be carefully chosen to keep peace with the piece

I could have lived with wickedness,
the dirges of hurt, the marches of hate
elicited from metal harps
inside my godless hands.
A swamp in the place of my soul,
yielding naught but skeletons.

Instead I linger here with you,
my anonymous priest,
sculpting my flesh into verse.
I try to seed the barren sky,
and speak with He who isn't there.Again,beautifully conceptualised and worryingly close to the thoughts of many. There is something universally depressing in these last two stanzas and it may well be that the cry of the child left unclaimed in the orphanage is evoked. ....they always choose some other kid, and I'm left here to cry.

Generally, there is literally no room for improvement but that is not to say that a different day may bring a different reading to this terse-verse. Congratulations.
Best,
Tectak