Disjointed English for effect

[rayheinrich]

It all depends on your subject matter. My advice is to write it both
(or more) ways, let them sit for a few days, then pick what plays.

Another trick is to put whatever you're unsure of in quotes:
We both "gots" crabs and more "fellers" than a pack of "mom-o-ries".

Here's an example of impropriety by Bob Williams that I think
works quite well:


            kathy, leaving
                                         
          
            leaving that us of ours
            lying
            laid between us
            in layers of intentions
            our lips
            large and lazy
            licking
            leaving the last damn L
            of love