Entrance

[tectak]

hello tectac!
i'm sorry if it appears as a free-thinking technique; that certainly wasn't the intention at all as it did have a goal in mind from the beginning...

the stanzas i used to show shifts in thought processes, mostly so in the opening stanzas, so I could definitely understand an argument to unify the closing stanzas in the revised version (I had adjusted the ending in the revision to a degree--the revision does end with "cross". I kept the original up to emphasize the changes made).

I appreciate the thoughts and time you have given. if you could advise me on which specific sections/ images you struggled most with, I am certainly willing to take a closer look.
thanks again!

Eureka! I know what was bugging me about this piece....I read it too many times in a loop and began to feel that the last 4 stanzas were better as the first four!
You know what I mean? If someone is charged with repeating out loud 123412341234 someone walking in to the room might decide he was repeating 4123 4123 4123. God it's late...I should be asleep....maybe I am asleep.
Best,
Tectak