I'm Still Tying My Shoe

[Philatone]

Sunset

Escape of thoughts never
Completely contemplated

The mark of another word I failed ...was really curious about this "mark". perfect as is; I think some kind of adjective could also enhance it!
To say right

Sound of a prayer for light to see my way
Aware that I’m blind ...understand the sentiment; did strike me as slightly cliche


Dawn

A shot from a gun to start the race
I’m still tying my shoe ...really liked the image shift from the first half to this. I actually like the line--i think, when focused on this moment, it works well

It’s the hesitation to shoot the mocking bird
Singing my requiem

Beginning of a life long journey
That starts one step back

really liked the writing overall; though I thought the closing stanzas of each section could have finished slightly stronger