01-25-2012, 01:02 PM
"non less" ???
Personally, I could stand for a tad bit more explanation of whose who. This seemed like young children, and I think they are, but the 2nd stanza was confusing with:
"His friend eyes are fearful;
they hold that 'What The Fuck' look.
He tries to join in valiantly,
fails because he's in love
with the lesser banshee"
as it doesn't really jive with the rest. Maybe it's a dog?
Not really sure what you mean by
"'cause she's not copping on,
then cops on as usual."
It seems there are about three different ways this could be read, and none make a lot od sense to me.
cop= admit, or get, or take/grab?
I like the idea and the metaphor, and feel like this is probably Billy as Granddad. It would just be nice if you fleshed it out a little more.
Dale
Personally, I could stand for a tad bit more explanation of whose who. This seemed like young children, and I think they are, but the 2nd stanza was confusing with:
"His friend eyes are fearful;
they hold that 'What The Fuck' look.
He tries to join in valiantly,
fails because he's in love
with the lesser banshee"
as it doesn't really jive with the rest. Maybe it's a dog?
Not really sure what you mean by
"'cause she's not copping on,
then cops on as usual."
It seems there are about three different ways this could be read, and none make a lot od sense to me.
cop= admit, or get, or take/grab?
I like the idea and the metaphor, and feel like this is probably Billy as Granddad. It would just be nice if you fleshed it out a little more.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.