hi Karren
some parts to like and some that are clichéd.
brush your finger through my hair has been used so much and in so many poems, songs, films etc, as has slowly brush your lips to mine
i can see improvement in your poetry. the opening line and the repeat of it as hook work well i think.
my suggestion would be to go over it and edit anything you may see as being said by others in other stuff, and also look to see if any words than don't add anything can be stripped away.
i think you did a good job with the enjambment, it flows really well when read.
overall it has an original feel to the first (or one of them) love conflict that's going on. well done
now i have something to ask you
can you leave a few comments on a few of the other peoples poems. "i don't know how to" isn't good enough we all have to start somewhere, just say what you think and how something in the poem affects you, we have some guidelines. take a look in the give feedback section at the top of the page 
thanks for the read.
some parts to like and some that are clichéd.
brush your finger through my hair has been used so much and in so many poems, songs, films etc, as has slowly brush your lips to mine
i can see improvement in your poetry. the opening line and the repeat of it as hook work well i think.
my suggestion would be to go over it and edit anything you may see as being said by others in other stuff, and also look to see if any words than don't add anything can be stripped away.
i think you did a good job with the enjambment, it flows really well when read.
overall it has an original feel to the first (or one of them) love conflict that's going on. well done
now i have something to ask you
can you leave a few comments on a few of the other peoples poems. "i don't know how to" isn't good enough we all have to start somewhere, just say what you think and how something in the poem affects you, we have some guidelines. take a look in the give feedback section at the top of the page thanks for the read.