Oh, how you do go on, sir.This has been through the editing mill, I assure you. While I may be undisputed queen of the sonnet form (shh, I can delude myself if I want to!), using them for their more common romantic subjects is something I tend to avoid lest they end up sounding cheesy and forced. Very occasionally, however, the inspiration coincides with the opportunity to sit and write.
PPPS. Hermes is an excellent name for a raven. I would consider it a less fortunate name for a snake, considering their close relationship with handbags.
It could be worse