12-28-2011, 08:47 PM
Leanne,
"I almost wish I hadn't read this now"
Hey, but that's good. I have never been known as an author of horror, except when in person
I must be having some archetypal equivalence occurring as usually what I think of as scary, most others don't. People, it seems, are afraid of losing body parts to zombies, but not their minds to old age even though they probably have a ready example in the family. Zombies are never going to happen, old age is inevitable. Go figure.
"I wonder, would you consider "I realize that I quickly/approach" as an alternative for L5/6?"
I'd consider it as rhythmically it reads more smoothly. The problem is that it shifts the focus into a more detached point of view. Outside of it reading more smoothly, did you have another reason for suggesting it?
Thanks for the read and critique, and letting me do the chill!
Dale
"I almost wish I hadn't read this now"
Hey, but that's good. I have never been known as an author of horror, except when in person
I must be having some archetypal equivalence occurring as usually what I think of as scary, most others don't. People, it seems, are afraid of losing body parts to zombies, but not their minds to old age even though they probably have a ready example in the family. Zombies are never going to happen, old age is inevitable. Go figure.
"I wonder, would you consider "I realize that I quickly/approach" as an alternative for L5/6?"
I'd consider it as rhythmically it reads more smoothly. The problem is that it shifts the focus into a more detached point of view. Outside of it reading more smoothly, did you have another reason for suggesting it?
Thanks for the read and critique, and letting me do the chill!
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.