12-23-2011, 08:54 AM
Damn, Mark - I can't read my own writing - I scribbled the first word of each bit on paper, and then copied it .....of course it isn't 'shine' I didn't intend that you change anything there.
It was the way I read this though, Glimmer......, Smirk.......Dance........Sink........ with a bit of tweaking each of these words could stand alone. Just a passing thought, though - nothing really worth make a change.
I can see the 'eager' grin pissing off the speaker....I was wondering if a bad-tempered sun would also have an eager grin (mind you, the sun, is the sun, is the sun...the only change is when he spits stuff into the atmosphere, but I don't know if your average Joe would actually notice that)
It was the way I read this though, Glimmer......, Smirk.......Dance........Sink........ with a bit of tweaking each of these words could stand alone. Just a passing thought, though - nothing really worth make a change.
I can see the 'eager' grin pissing off the speaker....I was wondering if a bad-tempered sun would also have an eager grin (mind you, the sun, is the sun, is the sun...the only change is when he spits stuff into the atmosphere, but I don't know if your average Joe would actually notice that)