Trapped

[heslopian]

Trapped

I’m an extra
rhubarbing my way I'm not sure I like the use of slang here. I think such language works better when being comic, presenting a character or writing intimately about oneself. Could just be a personal thing.
through a scene from a Noel Coward play Very good line. Insightful and witty.
this is my life
no-one knows
I’d win a Buddha look-alike game Why would no-one know this?
my brain doesn’t wave
it shakes its fist
my face shows no trace
it remains still I really like these last four lines. They convey a sentiment as old as the hills in a flowing and original way. The brain shaking its fist behind a still face is a powerful image.

Does no punctuation detract or add anything? Does my rhyming - ditto?
Are there too many I's and my's? All suggestions gratefully received

As this is a free verse poem with short lines I think it would work best without punctuation. All my feedback is JMHO, of course. Thanks for the read, grannyjill.